How To Write A Book Proposal

Posted: August 30, 2014 by Alice Frances in Writing tips
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Part One – Title Page 

The title page is a very important element to your book proposal, think of it as your advert or billboard for the book. Spend time on your title, make it stand out.  Don’t forget to add your name and personal details at the end of the title page. The title of course should go right in the middle of the title page.

The publisher will quickly see whether your book is something they might want to read, and whether or not it is in alignment with their publishing goals.

Part Two – Table of Contents

Table of Contents.  Very simply, this is a list of the chapters in your book.  This should contain the essence of the book within one to two pages depending on the amount of chapters in your book.  By looking at the TOC the reader will be able to see very quickly the logical flow of your book, and of course, catchy titles are a great help too.  The publisher can see how well you’ve organised your thoughts, and that you have some good content in each chapter and it piques their interest in the rest of your proposal.

Part Three – Chapter Synopsis – Overview 

This a quick overview of what the book is about. One page should suffice. Imagine you are sitting down with a friend or acquaintance in the local pub, and you have one minute to tell them what your book is about.  There is your synopsis, a condensed, high impact account of your book’s content.

Part Four – Chapter by Chapter Synopsis

This is a four or five sentence paragraph – or if you like – mini-synopsis – for each chapter of your book, outlining what that chapter is about.  Chapter synopses are vital, they can quickly give the reader a sense of the essence of the book.  So for example you might start off a chapter summary or synopsis as follows;

In this chapter we are going to show you the four things you need to do to market you product effectively.

This breakdown shows the reader the content of the whole book in a nutshell, and gives them a feel for the book.

Part Five – Attach a few Chapters to Your Book

Take one or two chapters of your book.  For first time authors it’s best to attach two chapters rather than one.  The publisher needs to know you can write, that you have a way with words and that you can engage the reader in your subject. Ideally, the publisher will think, here is a great idea, and the person submitting it knows how to write it! Wow!

Part Six – Marketing Plan *

This is where many book proposals fall down.  A publisher needs to know where this book fits with their list. Who do you think the readers are for your book? Where do you see it getting out there and making a difference in the world?   Give your perspective on all the different ways in which you see this book making a difference, perhaps it is a self-help book, how does it help people?  The publisher needs to know he can at the very least cover the cost of the first printing. The second printing is where he begins to make a profit.

 Part Seven – Author Bio

Show why you are qualified to write this book, what makes you unique as a writer.  Attach your resume, writing background, prior publications and so on.  If you don’t have any prior publications, explain why.  Perhaps this is your first foray into writing, or perhaps you are picking up the pen again after several years. What matters is that the publisher gets a sense of who you are.  Most important, if you have an outlet for this book, an audience or platform, this gives you an amazing edge. The publisher will think, this author can sell this book on his or her platform. Naturally then, the publisher will be more inclined to want to work with you on the sale of this book.

 Part Eight – Cover Letter 

Make sure you send out a hard copy letter on good bond paper, emails can be deleted, but letters tend to stick around for longer.  The publisher can put it in his briefcase and look at it later.  If the cover letter is exciting, the publisher will open the rest.

How To Find The Publisher

Go to the bookshop and find all the books that are similar to yours. Write down the names of the publishers, which are usually found on the back page of the published book.


Enjoy yourself and have fun! Think how exciting it will be when you get your manuscript accepted!  Good luck!

What if the entire human body could be altered by its environment, namely, its thought environment? A little too much like Frankenstein for your taste? Read on.

new science of thought controlAnd here is the beautiful thing, we are not tied to our genes, our genetic code does not necessarily determine our whole life pathway. Bruce Lipton, internationally recognised bio-scientist and best selling author of ‘The Biology of Belief’, contends that by changing our thinking, we can effect change at the subterranean level of the cell membrane. Like many thinkers and philosophers today, Lipton is of the opinion that we are approaching a revolutionary stage in our human evolution and that radical self empowerment is firmly on the cards. This is the new science of thought control.

Talking about genetics sends off alarm bells at dinner parties, many people feel out of their depth when it comes to discussing this topic. Lipton simplifies it by giving an example from his early research. In 1967, Lipton was busy cloning stem cells in a petri dish. In the course of two or three weeks, as each cell divided, the laboratory had thousands of cells, which Lipton placed into three separate dishes.

Each cell was genetically identical but the culture medium had a slightly different chemistry in each dish. This relative change of environment brought about a change in cell structure, so that from starting out identical the cells underwent variation, changing into fat, muscle and bone. How did this come about? Lipton surmises that the environmental atmosphere altered the cell’s genetic code. From this he concludes that environment can control genetics, and not vice versa as was previously thought. Lipton’s dramatic reversal of genetic determinism leads us to even more startling and exciting ideas.

As Lipton puts it, we are little more than a collection of cells contained in a skin-covered petri dish. By changing our environment, (our thoughts) can we change our actual bodies? The chemistry and environment of our trillions of cells is controlled within the blood system. The fate of each cell depends upon the health and well-being of the blood, which is the carrier and with it, the brain, which is the controller.  The brain releases chemicals into the blood stream that control the genetic activity of each cell. These three are interlinked, blood, brain, and cell.

Lipton’s claim is that when you change your perception of the world, you change the chemistry of your blood. The body receives the signals and the human being feels the sensation in the body, for instance anger produces one type of sensation, and love produces another. The mind’s perception of emotion, whether it be fear, love or anger, determines the chemical injected into the bloodstream.

For instance, Dopamine the pleasure chemical is experienced when one perceives love. Oxytocin, the bonding chemical is experienced when one perceives attachment. As Lipton puts it, if those same ingredients were introduced to the cells in the petri dish, those cells would react, causing such things as growth, expansion, contraction etc depending on the chemical involved.

So, again, what produces the chemicals? Our thoughts and perceptions. Lipton’s research as a medical school professor caused him to abandon genetic determinism, a theory that seemed logical at that time. He figured out that genes do not – of themselves – control our human traits. Rather our genes contain the blueprint of our physical make up, but environment is vital in producing the chemistry which controls our genes, and perception is the big daddy of them all.

Lipton says; ‘you can change the chemistry when you change your perceptions, and when you change your perceptions you change your genetic activity.’ Lipton goes further saying that the chemistry of the environment can ‘modify the readout of the gene and even alter the blueprint’. The way you respond to your environment determines the chemistry in your blood, which in turn can alter the genetic blueprint of a cell by creating thousands of variations.

So the new science is ‘mastery’ of your biology (or body) through thought control. Turning now to Graham Hancock, author of best selling book, ‘In Search of the Lost Civilisation’, the new science is really an old science, (shamans have been practicing various forms of thought control for thousands upon thousands of years), but the origins of bio-shifting go back to our distant ancestors, who according to Professor Williams at the University of Witwaterstrand South Africa, may have uncovered mind-altering states of consciousness through the discovery of hallucinogenic plants.

Incredible rock and cave art from around the world, dating back to the paleolithic era, bears testimony to the visionary capabilities of pre-historic humans. Perhaps among the most known hallucinogenic plants today is Ayahuasca, used by shamans in the Amazon basin. This herb – which is taken in liquid form – induces a four-hour journey into radically altered states of consciousness, and even, some say, supernatural realms. It is said to inspire creativity, by introducing the user to the cosmogonic impulse in the form of mother nature herself.

Following their trance state, many people have turned to art, specifically painting. One such artist is Pablo Amaringo of Peru who paints vibrant spirals not unlike the energy spiral of the human cell. Moving from the purely scientific approach concerning the effects on the cells themselves, Hancock speaks of the experiential nature of altered states. The spin off is the merging of consciousness with supra human entities like mother Ayahuasca (or mother nature) who is said to be angry at the way her rainforests are being destroyed by powerful people on earth.

new science of thought controlHancock describes one such fearsome encounter where he was shown the gates of hell and given a warning about possible human annihilation in the world beyond death. You might think that Graham Hancock has the missionary zeal of the prophet-like, eco-crusader, you might prefer the cooler approach of the bio-scientist, but essentially the message is the same.

We human beings have the power to control and/or alter our energy matrix to a far greater extent than conventional thought would allow. At the moment, we are doing this negatively. Our ordinary Western consciousness, is, according to the shamans of the Amazon, severed from spirit, thereby endangering our survival as a species.

Whether you regard thought control as a facet of chemistry or spirituality, or both, the fact remains that many of us are no longer content to remain within the bounds of our every day consciousness. Those boundaries are being pushed back, and the new science of thought control is here to stay.

grace metalious victim of peyton placeAt the time of writing her best-selling novel ‘Peyton Place’  Grace Metalious, a New Hampshire, housewife, lived in a dilapidated bungalow she’d wryly nicknamed “It’ll Do.” Her three kids were existing on lettuce-and-tomato sandwiches. At 30 years old she was poverty-stricken, parched, depleted, and frantic.

At last, she’d composed a book. She titled it ‘The Tree and the Blossom’ full of insider secrets, deceitful morality, petty mindedness, and vicious town gossip in a narrative about a fictional New Hampshire town much the same as her own town of Gilmanton.

Though ruthlessly and effortlessly exposing the human failings of the denizens of a typical New England town, Metalious’ work is not lacking in compassion for the colourful inhabitants of her world.  Much of this compact universe is seen through a kind of shimmering emotional lens, the vehicle for this lens being Alison Mackenzie, the sixteen year old ‘illegitimate’ child of one of the town’s most respected citizens, Constance Mackenzie.

On publication, critics and reviewers honed in on the ‘scandalous’ sex, and torrid episodes, ignoring Metalious’ powerful social commentary. Much of this was achieved via her characters, for instance the tragic figure Nellie Cross, a shack dweller and half-crazed wife of abusive drunk, Lucas Cross.  Metalious wastes no time either in exposing the hypocrisy of the Congregationalist church minister, Fitzgerald, a closet Catholic who refuses to bury suicide victim Nellie on ‘consecrated ground’.

The book caused a stir for its expose of small town New England, not quite the quaint historic idyll that many imagine it to be. Metalious was loathed by the very people whose lives she manifested so unerringly in her book.

Upon her death, she was given neither accolade, or memorial. Indeed, for many years this astonishingly raw, beautiful and vivid book was out of print.

Yet this novel has sold over 10 million copies in 10 languages, making it one of the 100 best sellers of all time. It immediately broke new ground and opened the door to writing about subjects like incest, illegitimacy and domestic abuse.

It is a wonderfully written book, and comparisons have been made to Faulkner, Upton Sinclair, (and others). Yet however skilful the writer’s rendering of small town New England, and however subtle the use of the vernacular, the book was reviled and Metalious scorned as a ‘tawdry housewife’ by many elements of the press.

Also by the outraged people of Gilmanton, who felt badly exposed in the novel.

One reviewer wrote to Grace;

“For you or any responsible person to advocate the reading of your material in my opinion represents low spiritual morals.”

Another editor recommended placing the book on a bonfire, or keeping it “under lock and key”, the very attitude of secrecy Metalious highlighted so well in her novel.

On the other hand the Times critic begrudgingly noted “her ear for local speech is unflinching, down to the last four letter word”.

Grace Metalious received death threats until her sad passing at the age of 39, hounded by alcoholism and the after effects of her success. She remains unforgiven by the Gilmanton residents who would prefer to wipe the book and its author from memory.

While indignant about the “obscenity” shown in the work, many failed to see Metalious’ depiction of community friendship, and the quiet courage evident in these hardy New Englanders.

When the young Selena Cross is on trial for the murder of her incestuous tormentor, Lucas Cross, the townspeople, along with prosecutor Charles Partridge, see to it that she goes free. Doc Swain, who carried out an illegal abortion on Selena, testifies against Lucas, implicating himself and jeopardising his medical licence.

The judge turns to the jury;

“There’s not one of you on the jury who don’t know Matt Swain. I’ve known him all my life, same as you, and I say that Matt Swain is no liar. Go into the other room and make up your minds.”

The other aspect of the book often overlooked is the writer’s affection for New England. In a rapturous last passage the young Allison is reminded of her abiding love for the environment in which she was raised.

“Alison looked up at the sky, blue, with the blueness peculiar to the deep blue of an Indian Summer and thought of it as a cup, inverted over her alone.”


“Oh, I love you, she cried silently, I love every part of you. Your beauty and your cruelty, your kindness and ugliness.”

It is a democratic book, offering multiple viewpoints, and giving weight to the voices of the powerless and the oppressed. It is a liberating book, speaking openly and honestly about sex. It is a timeless book, given its power to move and entertain readers of any generation.

Metalious was a precursor of the hippy movement, paving the way for ‘literary journalist’ Tom Wolfe and that other social chronicler,  Armistead Maupin; writers who dig down into the lives of their characters and expose them to our imaginations as vividly and personally as if those lives were our own.

In 2007 Manchester NH, in alliance with the University of New Hampshire, finally honoured Grace Metalious with a searching retrospective of her work and ideas.  It was New England’s first public acknowledgement of its native daughter.

Grace Metalious died aged 39. She was deeply in debt having been fleeced of her wealth by numerous individuals over the years following the publication of her novel.  She is buried in a modest cemetery in Gilmanton, where a single white headstone reads “Metalious, Grace, 1924 – 1964.”


chocolates for breakfastTouted as a very grown up novel by 18 year old American writer, Pamela Moore, and published during the repressive post war era, Courtney – the protagonist of the novel – exists in a world of shallow euphoria. Yet by the end of the book, you hope that the character (by now firmly imprinted on your psyche) grows up and figures out how to break through the cycle of alcohol addiction and bad company.  The writer, Moore, produced a remarkably astute novel with suspiciously mature observations, and it’s easy to imagine that her mother, the writer Isabel Moore (or another interested adult) may have had a hand in constructing some of the more corruscating passages about coastal American society.

At the time of publication by Rinehart Press, issued for the princely sum of $3, and selling over a million copies, Pamela was hailed as an American Francoise Sagan, though ‘hailed’ is possibly not the correct word.  Though popular her book was panned by critics,  who compared her unfavourably with Sagan.  Critics saw Sagan’s easy fluidity with sex as more skilful than Moore’s ‘attempt to shock.’  It was said of Moore that she deliberately set out to depict a decadent lifestyle of pre-marital sex, incessant boozing, cigarettes and partying et al.  All very torrid at the time, though hardly blink worthy now.

Riding on the wave of publicity surrounding ‘Petyon Place’, another ‘scandalous’ novel by Grace Metalious, Moore’s short novel also enjoyed the notoriety of the classic myth buster, giving the inside scoop, not on a small New England town, but on the licentious activities of a privileged sorority girl from an upper middle class background.

By the time she is 17 years of age, the protagonist Courtney, has whisked her way through Hollywood, had an affair with a leading gigolo, slashed her wrists and boozed her way through NY with her cannibalistic Ivy League companions.  Courtney’s best and only friend, Janet, is on a booze-fuelled spiral to disaster, which by the end of the book, you hope the narrator manages to escape.

The novel was reprinted by Harper Perennial last year, and given the fate of the author, along with the underlying themes of addiction, loss and depression, the book is more bitter than sweet.

Her mother, Isabel Moore went on to write the scandalous novel of the decade called ‘The Sex Cure’, Beacon, 1962, (now out of print) which shook another small New England town to its roots. Tragically, Pamela Moore died of a gunshot wound in 1964, which was presumed to be suicide, though no note was left.  She was 27 years old.


Posted: July 19, 2014 by Di van der Westhuizen in blog tips, Comment

Written a book have you? Your first, I hear you say? Well done you! No, truly, congratulations. You’ve spent long, lonely hours banging away on your computer with only your cat (or dog, if you’re of the canine persuasion) for company. Your friends and family think: (a) you’ve emigrated to Outer Borneo; (b) you’re dead; or (c) lost your wifi and/or phone connection (which is as good as being dead anyway). You’ve survived on more caffeine than is healthy for your liver (and other soft tissue organs), nicotine (if you weren’t a smoker before, you’ve most probably flirted with the idea) and dreary ready meals (by the way, how is it that microwaved food can singe the roof of your mouth and freeze your tongue simultaneously?).

Now, if you will, cast your mind back. To the day that you first, (perhaps misguidedly), decided to write the book you always said you would. You thought of an ingenious title and proudly opened a file on your computer. You hunted dementedly online for a cover picture, and then typed those magic words that were going to reinvent your life as an author: “Chapter One”. Your initial enthusiasm may have been somewhat dampened when, diddling around on the internet, you stumbled upon the fact that you needed to write at least 80 000 words to publish a credible novel. However, determined to follow your calling (an overrated idea, if you ask me) you toiled on and on. Word followed word, sentence followed sentence, paragraph followed paragraph etc. (you know the drill) until (after dawdling around a tad aimlessly mid-plot), you typed those words that filled you with unrivaled joy: “The End”. You felt like Cathleen Turner in Romancing the Stone. Remember how she typed those words with great satisfaction, then opened a celebratory can of tuna for her cat (and topped it with a spring of parsley, yet?). That feeling.

Aaw bless. Now you’re envisioning thousands of copies of your novel in its snappy cover gracing the shelves of the most illustrious book shops throughout the world – it will, naturally, be translated into 50 languages, including Tagalog (Google that, I had to). You’ve practiced your signature for book signings for your adoring fans, and maybe even dared to go so far as mentally choosing a designer gown/suit for the red carpet on your way to collect your Pulitzer or Oscar (oh, and you’re also eagerly awaiting that call from Steven Spielberg offering you a movie deal). In other words, you’re on the cusp of literary uber-stardom. Step aside Ms Rowling and Mr Ludlum, your successor has been born! Read the rest of this entry »

confederacy of duncesJohn Kennedy Toole was craftsman who comprehended the unreasonable nature of things and through his Pulitzer prize-winning novel uncovered the very essence of New Orleans. He depicted its characters, its corners, its mysteries, and feeling of rot, that wanton flavor that he knew so well. This is a standout novel amongst modern American writing and the story of how it came into existence is as disturbing as the untimely death of the author.
Toole was an insider and captured dialect like no other, none could match his remarkable gift for voice, for character, not Sherwood Anderson, Tennessee Williams, nor Faulkner, as these writers were all writing from outside, whereas Toole was New Orleans through and through, he was part of the fabric, and he depicted it in a way that nobody else ever has.
In letters he showed that he was constantly planning books, writing characters, imagining scenes. He had an extremely sharp eye and an exceptional gift for comedy that helped him to reproduce New Orleans in the zaniest and funniest of ways.
His Southern gothic novel, a grand comic fugue, features a wonderfully offbeat cast of insane characters.
Sadly, the book almost never made it into print. Suffering constant rejection by New Yorker editor, Robert Gottlieb, (initially enthusiastic) who tragically lost interest in the novel, calling it pointless. Gottlieb insisted that the book had no meaning, and essentially, no plot. This verdict from a major publishing house (Gottlieb worked for Simon and Schuster at the time) caused J K Toole finally to give up on his masterpiece and stash it away.
Luckily, after his death, his mother, Thelma Toole resurrected the original manuscript, and Toole went on to win the Pulitzer Prize For Fiction.
RIP JK Toole.

Richard Hilton

Photo taken by Glenn Bracke


The best things about playing in CHIC include getting to make music with some of the finest musicians I’ve ever known, including the band we’ve had for the past five years, and getting the opportunity to share in the happiness of the audience. I’ve also gotten to see a lot of really amazing places that I’d likely never have seen otherwise.


The rigors of travel, which are at an all-time high these days.


I started working with Nile in March of 1988. I had been interviewing for about two years for a number of different jobs with a company called “New England Digital” that made a proprietary computer music instrument called the Synclavier. They never did hire me, but when Nile Rodgers called them (being a user of their instrument) asking about a qualified programmer who could play keyboards, they kindly recommended me and that was it, I was in.


When I started with Nile, I was teaching at a small college and going back to grad school to get a master’s degree. I hope to get back to teaching someday. I’m very keen to work with young people.


A tireless dedication to delivering the best possible show every night. There’s a lot of trust and love on the stage, and it seems to translate to the audience, based on the things they say to me. One cannot underestimate the value of the amazing repertoire we’ve given to play as a major contributing factor to making all this possible.


I can’t talk about projects in progress.


Adequate, but not great. I do a lot of things pretty well, but maybe none of them “great”. The players in CHIC are all far more accomplished than I. My abilities are spread across a number of different disciplines in my job, so my playing technique sometimes doesn’t get the attention it might otherwise deserve. I’m lucky in that music has always come pretty easily to me.


Because I find the privilege of playing this music and sharing in the audience’s happiness to be quite overwhelming. Playing this music in CHIC is a pretty amazing thing, and I try to let that wash over me as much as possible while we’re doing it.


I’d try to tap less into anger and more into the love that I feel. There are a few other things specific to my relationships that I wish I’d done better.


I’m happy to be here now. I don’t think in terms of “what if” very much. That said, getting to hear Art Tatum, Beethoven, and Chopin play would’ve been very nice.


Listen To Mikey Flynn reading about Jojo Ruocco the Queen of The Funkin Drums, this piece features Ronnie Wood Ronnie At The Rah

Audio  —  Posted: June 23, 2014 by Alice Frances in Comedy/Farce/Skit/Pastiche, Podcast
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A regular day in Londonistan

Welcome to LondonistanOn Aug. 9, The Guardian reported that in the ballpark of 20 Asian adolescents had accumulated around the Tower Hamlets gates, where a dark banner, taking after that of ISIS, was raised. The banner was removed later by a nun.
Tower Hamlets is one of numerous foci where the Saudis breed their Wahhabi initiates.

In 2013, when Sheik al-Kalbani was denied passage to the U.K., supporters of the Islamic Minister of Scorn, Anjem Choudary, (leader of Islam4uk), headed an open demo in London against Shi’a Muslims.

This, mind you, three years after Islam4uk was formally banished under the U.K’s. counter-terrorism laws.  Why was the group allowed to freely demonstrate?

London, it seems, specialises in nourishing and nurturing guys like Choudary, clothing them, and keeping them well fed, (and on benefits) like weird pets.

Who the hell is ISIS anyway?

welcome to Londonistan

ISIS did not spring out of nowhere, it was a collection of mercenary terrorists used to depose Assad then coagulated – with the help of bankrolling – into a force. Jabhat al-Nusra (a faction of al-Qaeda), and ISIS cooperated in the early phases of the West-organized and Saudi-Qatari-Kuwaiti-subsidized attack on Assad militancy.

These nasty geurillas flew banners together amid activist operations against Damascus; however that changed, and the Salafi-Wahhabis, (Saudi’s and London’s pets) having seized arms and ammo from their prior partners, turned into the powerhouse.

Among the ISIS warriors, the Londonistan-made jihadists are the biggest and most prevailing bunch. The Telegraph, in an Aug. 21 article, “More British Muslims battle in Syria than in U.K. Military,” said Khalid Mahmood, the Member of Parliament from Birmingham, which by the way, is another focus point of nourishment.

Kalid said “1,500 British Muslims have gone to wage jihad since 2011, instead of the 400-500 the legislature gauges and the 650 serving in the British military.”

But where are these guys getting the money?

Presently, it is apparent that ISIS has enough murdering resources to plunder and blackmail to sustain itself, and even develop as a growing force, possibly amassing up to 17000 soldiers.

In 2010, The Guardian cited U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton as saying that Saudi Arabia is the world’s  wellspring of funds for Islamic aggression worldwide.  For example, the Afghan Taliban and Lashkar-e-Taiba (Let)—both of which uphold the Wahhabi variant of standard Islam.  Saudi Arabia remains a basic money resource for al-Qaida, the Taliban, Let and other terrorist groups marked out by the US secretary of state.  Clinton urged US negotiators to prevent Gulf cash from upholding so called radicals in Pakistan and Afghanistan.”

Three other Arab nations are recorded as wellsprings of aggressor cash: Qatar, Kuwait, and the United Arab Emirates.  The current brutality is bankrolled by rich contributors over the Arabian Sea whose legislatures do little to stop them. The issue is especially intense in Saudi Arabia, where Jihadist groups slip into the nation to  get cash from government-endorsed foundations.

In addition, Saudi money is also building bases in several nations for recruitment and training of jihadis for future operations. These recruits became visible when the Libyan Islamic Fighters Group (LIFG) was used to dismantle the Libyan state and kill Colonel Qaddafi. Pakistan and Britain are two important centres where the Saudis operate hand-in-glove with local intelligence.


Following the murder of the American James Foley by a British jihadi working with ISIS, it was obvious that ISIS was determined to show its muscle in Britain.

With a base in Tower Hamlets in East London, Londonistan is a world unto itself, where Britain enrolls and trains Saudi-subsidized radicals and Sunni Muslims to murder and kill, and then conveys them wherever required to serve certain purposes. The attraction for British Jihadists is obvious.  The pay is good and the scenery is vibrant, no shortage of food, guns or women for enforced marriage.  Who needs boring work when you can play at dictatorship, murder and mayhem?

Tower Hamlets is the place the Shi’a-scorning radical and head Imam of Mecca, Sheik Adel al-Kalbani (who a year ago was declined entry into Britain) went for a friendly neighbourhood chat with Tower Hamlets’ Mayor, Lutfur Rahman, who heads the Saudi-financed Jamaat-e-Islami in Britain.  As indicated by a Bangladeshi columnist, Tower Hamlets has been changed over the years into the “Islamic Republic of Tower Hamlets” under that same leader.

Is this the shape of the future for Britain? The question is can Britain motivate herself for sufficiently long enough to avoid becoming a proxy nation for the Salafi-Wahhabis, who are confident that their flag will fly over parliament within a generation. They may be right.

Twisted Tin

Posted: August 28, 2014 by Alice Frances in Uncategorized

As a prospective tin whistler, I am mesmerised by this girl’s wonderful tin whistlin’, and include it here as I think music and language are twin spirits.

I’ve sure you’ve seen the advertisements of the small worm burrowing into an eyeball. These days when I think of eyeballs, I think of two things:  “The Twilight Zone” and “Lost”. Only one of them makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Also brought to you by the letter “eye”  and coming soon to a network near you, is “The Strain”. “The Strain” is a revision on the age old vampire tale and is scheduled to premiere on FX July 13, 2014. It is a collaborative effort, written by Guilermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan based on their somewhat obscure vampire novel trilogy. Del Toro pitched the idea as a series some time ago and apparently somebody caught it.  But there is another “eye” connection here. Read the rest of this entry »

Old Man Winter Gives Control To Son Biff

New London Writers Literary Agency Seeks Writers

Old Man Winter has reportedly turned over operational control of the winter season to his son, Biff according to sources close to the personification of nature.

Citing health issues, Old Man Winter made the announcement in late November and his overly ambitious son has wasted no time in establishing complete control over the frigid manifestation.

After first declaring himself president and CEO of Winter, Inc. Biff Winter called a news conference early this morning to confirm that he indeed has the reins of all daily operations.

And he intends to manage the season in his own style.

“I don’t plan on running winter the same way my Old Man did,” Biff remarked after slamming the continental United States with ice and frigid temperatures as far south as Texas and California three weeks ahead of the scheduled arrival of winter.

“Obviously, my new business model is a lot more efficient than the previous one,” Biff noted when asked about the recent arctic blast.

“The next thing I plan to focus on is re-branding the entire winter season. The image of an old man blowing cold winds is not an archetype that appeals to a 21st century demographics. Besides, who says winter HAS to start or end on any particular day?”

Biff Winter also presented a five year plan that includes the hostile take-over of both Fall and Spring, a few weeks at a time. By creating a general climate of seasonal business chaos, Biff Winter proposes taking advantage of the fact that these seasons have no established personifications associated with them.

“Clearly there is no identifiable leadership in the top ranks of these seasonal allocations, therefore, some of their time can be better managed by my organization,” said Biff, sending a chill through the Press Corps.

“There are still some economic hurdles and barriers to market entry into the summer business sector, but these will be addressed in time,” he added. Biff went on to subtly accuse summer of improper business practices and collusion with the global warming industry.

Biff also plans to modernize the functioning of winter through technology and software innovations.

“My father has been operating winter the same way he has since the Ice Age: arriving in a predictable fashion, manifesting in the an archaic form of an old man blowing cold winds. That superstitious mumbo-jumbo is so Middle Ages, an outdated relic soon to be replaced by modern data-mining and HAARP technology,” he said.

“After looking at economic projections based on the last 10,000 years of data, winter’s market share has steadily eroded as a result of new entrants into the seasonal market such as El Niño, aberrant solar cycles, and global warming. There is no way in hell that I’m going to let a start up venture like Green House Gases (GHG) cut into the bottom line of an old established business like winter,” Biff remarked.

Promising a new, improved winter roll-out by the first of the year, Biff also has plans for an extended season in an effort to encroach on summer’s consumer base. “Our long term strategy is to be the dominant seasonal force all year round.

“We are streamlining our ability to deliver the core product line of snow, ice and freezing temperatures across a wider distribution network, and our business plan reflects exploiting that advantage. By being able to efficiently project winter weather anywhere, anytime, we’ll be the primary player in the seasonal market all year long,” Biff remarked confidently before calling the press conference to an end with a sudden blizzard.

In a related story, an inebriated Old Man Winter was spotted on a beach in Hawaii this week. When asked why he chose to relinquish all control of winter, he remarked angrily, “I’ve been busting my ass since the Cretaceous-Tertiary period. I’m retired!”