Dear Human Resources Manager: I am applying for the position of President of the United States. Please find attached my resume. I’ve seen this ad running for several months now and I conclude that you have been unsuccessful in locating a suitable candidate. I believe I have the skills, experience and sheer ruthlessness to be a “good fit” in this position. I am a “results … [Read more...] about Anyone Can Be President of the United States: Just Apply!
Following the “incomplete” execution of Clayton Locket in Oklahoma earlier this year, the Oklahoma legislature has voted to replace lethal injection with “Death by Dumbo”. Dumbo, a rogue circus elephant convicted of killing his long time handler in the late 90’s, is slated to become the state’s newest executioner. Following the nationally embarrassing spectacle, … [Read more...] about Oklahoma Replaces Lethal Injection with “Death by Dumbo”
For those of us having a hard time keeping up with the issues this election year there's welcome help on the horizon. John Wiley and Sons, Inc. has released the latest in their series of voter issue references entitled, "Campaign Issues for Dummies". Using familiar icons as chapter headers, you'll be able to quickly locate the issue of your choosing. Read, be informed and … [Read more...] about Campaign Issues For Dummies
Old Man Winter has reportedly turned over operational control of the winter season to his son, Biff according to sources close to the personification of nature. Citing health issues, Old Man Winter made the announcement in late November and his overly ambitious son has wasted no time in establishing complete control over the frigid manifestation. After first declaring … [Read more...] about Old Man Winter Gives Control To Son Biff