Ice And Fire

If life ever asked me to marry anyone
contrary to my decision of not marrying any,
I will marry any physically-abled man
because I’m a mentally-abled woman myself.
He will channel all his efforts to decrease my pain
and to camouflage me against physical
or emotional calamities;
while I, being not in a proper mental state,
will not understand what pain is
and end up adding slakes of pain;
I will do mischievous things,
that will hurt him,
bringing tears to his eyes,
still he will manage to laugh and smile
just to make me happy,
and to relieve himself of the burden
that he thinks he was carrying on his shoulders
since the moment I agreed to marry him,
he thinks it was a matter of favor not will
that forced me to capitulate my conscious desires
to his ways, opinions and compassion;
I agreed since I wanted a partner
who could slay me and be slayed
not just by me but my entirety,
and wanted him to slay me the same way.
He has always needed my support
but he never showed it properly
because he cared for me too much
that his care for me replaced his care for himself.
At times, he showed me how much he understands me
by lending me a support of his arms
or by attempting to move his amputated leg
when I pointed my finger towards an orphan child
who needed our help to cross the road,
he comprehended all my gestures very well
but was helpless
and when I laughed madly,
he laughed too,
his laughter reeked of sadness
while my laughter was full of those emotions
that he considered not significant enough to be talked about.
Though we were a couple,
but there was nothing between us
that could connect us,
we were finding our destination,
we are still finding it,
we will keep finding it,
but we love each other
without ever confessing it.
His love doesn’t warm me
but freezes me in a world
from where I don’t want to be,
ever again!
Image by Raxon Rex 

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